Wednesday, May 25, 2011

a truly happy day

The two mates from Liverpool, England were the ones who really made my day today. I knew it would have been okay - since the Island hoping around Phi Phi just mesmerized me, but it wouldn't be as fantastic as it is now - because of them. I might have hard times to collect words to describe how they really were. They were just FANTASTIC, full of humor, nice, warm, they had everything you might have been looking for, especially with the British accent (which is my favorite :p).

Travelling together from England to Singapore to Australia, they eventually stranded for Thailand. But that wasn't the thing captured me, it was all of the jokes they were spilling out from their mouths. Both of them complimented each other.

And that wasn't the best thing either. It was the words coming out from the mouth of the eccentric guy (well he got his nails painted by Britain Flag with piercing in his nipple too). He turned my perspective upside down. He really did.

He brought that sense of confidence of myself. I've never 100% believed on anybody's comment about the good things I have inside, but on stranger. And he was just a perfect stranger from different continent, yet sophisticated (hopefully) mind.

The essence of everything he said was the pureness I sensed. He wasn't trying to flirt, or just to befriend with me cause he didn't really need it anyway. But he said those words, words that wasn't flowery but super meaningful to me, purely.

His words were just like revelation to me to go on with what I have and be confident with it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

daily thought

Just spent time with Chandra tonight. After missing-in-action for a while, finally he's back, spending time with me for just chatting about life. And it was seriously nice. There was this big burden in my heart that I kept on carrying, waiting for the time to leave it all out. I can't say that it's gone completely now, but it's half way through.

Thank you, Chandra, for listening. And also for the advice you've given me. It was quite effective to release my burden. Just stay, and don't keep on missing. I'll hate you for that. Haha.

Ben, wherever you are, if you're reading this. GO ON STUDYING.

Love ya all, guys. Super happy to be your friend :)


I bet you have felt this kind of feeling before, at least once, the one like you don't want a memory to fade, in fact you want them to last forever. That is how I've been feeling. I can't stop thinking about what will happen next, or specifically in Jakarta, after I go back. I feel so comfortable here that I feel like staying forever, seriously forever. I might hate studying here, but I can't stand the environment. Its just super nice. Especially, I spent the last days here travelling by bus, looking around while listening to my favorite music. The feeling is just irresistible. Totally wonderful.

I know this is a typical feeling when you're about to move on from your comfort zone. A feeling that sometimes stop you from doing what you're supposed to do. Thank God I don't have a choice but to go back home, facing the other reality of life.

Quarreling with my family members, especially my sister, rolling on the busy days, jamming in traffic with no more English, no more short nor slippers, and no more headset in the MRT. I don't mean to be snobbish here, for real.

I am now welcoming myself, to the inconvenient truth.

Monday, May 16, 2011

one altitude

One Altitude is like the last place I want to visit during my last day in Singapore. It's just that I haven't found anyone worth for the trip. Hahaha, no offense.
I know one person I would like to go with, but it's kinda impossible.
Huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the world is sometimes unfair haha
Actually it's not, I know God is fair. He just works in a way beyond our understanding.

mixed up

As I am about to leave Singapore in a near distant future, every time I did nothing, I used the time to contemplate on every single thing happened in my life, be it recently, be it long long time ago. Looking back at how far I have gone, I hardly believe that it happened so quickly and unpredictably, in a way that I felt so mixed up, confused of what to feel actually.

I know I should be thankful, and I am. I am thankful for God's bless that I had every precious opportunity behind, it included not only the ups, but also the downs of course. However, I don't really know what kind of feeling I have inside. I feel so mixed up, I really do.

I don't even know what I am writing now. I just feel like writing. I feel like thanking God for this wonderful life I am in. I have no idea what kind of road I will have next. I just know that He is with me all the time. He set everything I need, set, I should say, because He already planned every thing even before I was born.

I believe that nothing is coincidence. Every thing happens for a reason. And God is the director behind everything. Every road will show us something. Every up or down will reveal His work. The insights that He wanted us to know at the very first place.

To be honest,
I've been thinking about these two guys recently.
One, was definitely the one that I barely let go off of my mind. Every time I told myself that I was over him, I dreamed of him. Always. That kinda told me that I hadn't got over him at all.
The other one, was the one that I knew very well that I wanted to ask him to come over, because I knew exactly places I wanted him to visit with me. But it was such an impossible thing to do due to the-so-called-situation.

It is hard.
It is mixed up.

God, please show me Your way.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

living abroad

I dedicated this posting for my wonderful friends anywhere throughout the world, who are committing themselves for strength to sustain a living abroad, far from families and home.


Being away for few months in Singapore, I began to learn things.

I have never been away before, at least for more than a month, which means I need ed to go for my own, take care of my own self, and be able to handle everything on my own. Even though I proved to my self that I could do it, it couldn't say it was easy at all.

The time I was doing so, I pictured the images of all of my friends who are up to now, living on their owns for school, far away from their hometowns. By experiencing it myself, I could feel the spirit as well as the hardships to do so.

I would never imagine living like this. It was a dream coming true, to be able to come to Singapore and start my private life (I have never had a private life before. It was always exposed to my family, and sometimes I couldn't deny, I needed one too.)

Having the experience in my vein, I felt so proud of my friends. Aside from the school projects and all that, they could maintain living very well too. They really worked hard, played hard, and sometimes (play) harder. Some of them successfully balanced their life, albeit some others did not.


Being immersed in the different area, with totally different people and environment were totally not easy to tackle. Adaptation could be a heck of a process. It was tough, yet challenging.

But it was the treasure of being away. The treasure of having a new and private life. The treasure to take control of everything going on in your life. And that was the treasure to be responsible for everything you do. Again, it wasn't so easy, but it wasn't impossible to be done either.

It is very hard to explain, but I know, in every of your heart, you can understand what I mean.

I wished I could stay longer here, but I knew I must proceed to a new chapter of my live. Not here, but in Jakarta. There will maybe next life like this. But for now, I got to move on.


My friends,

this is not the time to say goodbye. There are still pages in your life to be written. If somehow you felt failure, it isn't finished yet, you can still move on. If you are somehow successful, this is time to celebrate.

I am so proud of you and will always pray for you all.

Good luck for everything you do. Have fun!


For me, airport is not just an airport.

It's a magical place, where you can feel the magic in the air.

Tears collided with joy, creating a burst in my heart.

It's always the same place for me.

Place where you say either goodbye or hello.

Place where you always feel either happy or sad.

Place where you actually meet the reality of life.

Reality that tells you, that nothing is immortal.

Neither sadness nor happiness is.

There will be time when you meet your loved ones.

There will be time too, to say farewell.

Joys in the face and tears in the heart.

Joy, when a guy who has long been from home and finally meet his loving family.

Tears, when a daughter who will go far away for better living, leaving her family and her beloved soul behind.

There is nothing more wonderful than for a family to ever unite again.

There is nothing more dreadful than for a couple to surrender for situation.

It touches my heart so deeply, to see those families, couples, and friends, that I feel like crying on the spot.

Deep down I know, I'll be one of them too.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Unconditional Love

Di saat gw harusnya belajar karena besok Exam terakhir, gw malah sibuk berinternet ria dengan menggunakan fasilitas kampus. Tapi ga masalah lah, as long as gw dapet sesuatu dari itu semua.

I've been stalking here and there, including stalking comments posted by my friends in my blog. Well, albeit it's been quite some time ago, and I did not notice at all haha.

As usual, every time I read those writings from my friends, let's say, Alda, Atika, Monica, etc, all of them just buzz me with gratefulness. I feel so happy and thankful to have friends like them, who actually paid attention to what were happening to me.

Not to mention all of my other friends, Manda, Jovita, Ignes, Beki, Saras, Fany, Lita, Hasti, Ketie, and all I couldn't mention one by one who are just as wonderful as the others. Each of them have brought their own spark to my life which created wonderful fireworks inside my heart.

Although I have never had the chance to actually say thank you. I couldn't thank you all enough for these amazing years we have spent together. Live without you guys would be totally desert.

Please keep in touch.
Love ya unconditionally.

Monday, May 9, 2011


it's the overwhelming feeling I have inside.
like I want to hold you forever and never let you go.

cause you make me feel so true.
so blessed.
so lively.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

waktu dan kesempatan

Saya selalu merasa hidup di Singapura selama beberapa bulan ini memberikan saya lebih banyak pencerahan dan pengetahuan dibandingkan hidup bertahun-tahun di Jakarta.
Saya selalu merasa, hidup yang selama ini saya jalani tidak memberikan cukup ilmu bagi pendewasaan diri.
Bukan berusaha untuk merendahkan arti Indonesia atau apapun. Hanya saja, saya memang merasa belajar banyak disini. Bukan tentang pelajaran, tentang Hubungan Masyarakat, tentang komunikasi, psikologi, atau mata kuliah lainnya. Tapi tentang hidup.
Tentang pentingnya bersyukur.
Tentang makna sahabat.
Tentang makna keluarga.
Tentang Tuhan.
Dan banyak hal lainnya.

Akan hal yang mungkin tidak pernah terpikirkan sebelumnya.
Hal yang mungkin terlewatkan sebelumnya.
Hal yang dulu saya pandang sepele.
Namun ternyata berarti.
Berarti sangat besar dalam hidup.

Lagi-lagi, saya selalu berpikir bahwa itu semua adalah karena Singapura, dengan segala keistimewaannya yang tidak dimiliki Indonesia.

Hanya saja, sepertinya saya salah.
Saya memang lebih dapat memaknai hidup di sini, karena saya jauh dari orang-orang yang biasanya ada setiap saat untuk saya.
Namun, yang lebih penting dari itu, yang membuat saya dapat merasakan lebih banyak, adalah karena di sini saya punya WAKTU lebih.

Kehidupan yang lebih renggang dibanding apa yang saya miliki di Jakarta, membuat saya punya waktu untuk merenung, mengaplikasikan kata "mindfulness" dalam kehidupan saya.
Sebenarnya, hanya itu perbedaannya.


Dengan lebih banyak waktu yang saya miliki di sini, saya bisa memperhatikan hal-hal sepele tadi, hal-hal yang tercecer, hal-hal yang biasanya terlupakan, namun ternyata bermakna dalam.

Waktu. Waktu. Waktu.

always thank you

You always opened my eyes.
You always made me aware of my own self.
And I feel so thankful to have you.

Good day, dude :)

jawaban doa

Kalau selama ini kita berpikir kalo ada 3 jawaban untuk doa kita, yaitu :
1. Iya
2. Tunggu dulu
3. Tidak

Mungkin kita salah.

Karena, ada seseorang yang bilang bahwa sebenernya Tuhan itu ga pernah jawab "tidak" untuk setiap doa yang kita panjatkan. Pilihan jawabannya justru:
1. Iya
2. Tunggu dulu
3. Saya punya yang lebih baik untuk kamu

Iya, Dia punya yang lebih baik untuk kita, dan bukan "tidak".

- hasil bincang-bincang bersama seorang kawan di Home Club, 30 April 2011 -

Friday, May 6, 2011

Would you please?

I have been pondering about my passion in life for such a long time now. Nonetheless, I haven't found the answer yet. It has been like a long long journey to find one. And the journey itself has been a bumpy road somehow. Enjoy it or not, I don't have a choice.

My mom always looks on me as someone who craves for many many things, in a bad way. She, I can say, hates it, or to be more decent, doesn't like it. And I have been complaining to her as I just want to be supported for anything I do.

Well, it's been tough. I really want this to be over, but what can I do?

I have no idea of what I am writing in the moment. I just feel torn apart. I can't hear what my heart is saying. I am in a big intersection where I am in a rush to go, but I am totally blind.

Time, can you stop moving for a moment?

I need to pace you down for a while. Just for a while. Let me think. And give me chance.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


Today marks the end of TF-NTU LEaRN Programme, which also marks the end of our journey together. It has been a great journey, especially because of the company. Thank you guys for everything, and Hans, I am super going to miss you soon :D
Don't forget about our India trip!
See you soon!!
Adyos :)


Wednesday, May 4, 2011


a memoir from singapore

p.s. : super thanks for Kevin who was willing to sacrifice his precious time for the video :)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

super broken-hearted by now. should not hope for more :(
auf wiedersehen.


As I went to church today, I was so moved by the sermon delivered that I regretted not having this kind of thoughts for the whole time.
The sermon is about how we should have served the God, using everything that we have, including our body and soul. Thereby, I regretted for not publishing the words I have absorbed through all of the sermon given before so that all my friends could get the same inspiration as what I had had for these whole time.

And today, I decided to write it in my blog, a place where I usually share my thoughts and my inspiring-moments or ideas.

I'll do it in Bahasa of course, as I believe it will create the best effect if it was in Bahasa.
Here we go.

Today's sermon is titled "Bertumbuh dan Melayani dalam Konteks Keluarga dan Gereja"

Bertumbuh tidak sama dengan bertambah.

Bertumbuh = sebuah proses pengembangan diri di mana kita turut berkembang, di mana kita melihat ada perbedan antara dulu dengan sekarang, di mana situasi ini bukan pemberian, melainkan diraih melalui usaha kita sendiri.

Bertambah = sifatnya sangat material

Melayani = bukan cuma soal tindakan, tetapi juga motivasi yang melatarbelakangi / mendasarinya.

Berdasarkan definisi tersebut, ada beberapa mentalitas yang harus kita miliki untuk dapat bertumbuh dan melayani dalam konteks keluarga dan gereja :
1. Melayani dengan ucapan syukur
Sebenarnya, syukur harus diterapkan dalam keseluruhan hidup kita, bukan hanya ketika kita melayani. Kita pergi ke gereja bukan untuk mendapatkan sesuatu, tetapi sebagai rasa syukur kita atas berkat Tuhan di sepanjang kehidupan kita.
Tanyakan ke dalam diri kita sendiri, apa yang bisa kita beri, bukan bertanya kepada gereja ataupun keluarga mengenai apa yang bisa mereka berikan kepada kita. Bukankah kita hidup untuk memberi?

2. Melayani untuk beribadah kepada Tuhan
Seperti apa yang tertulis di dalam Roma 12, bahwa kita harus mempersembahkan hidup kita sebagai persembahan yang kudus dan yang berkenan kepada Tuhan, begitulah layaknya kita harus beribadah semampu kita dan bukan semau kita.

Iman bukan sesuatu yang statis, melainkan dinamis. Itulah kenapa kita mengenal kata berakar, bertumbuh, dan berbuah di dalam Kristus. Terlebih lagi, iman tidak cukup hanya diteorikan, tetapi juga dipraktekkan ke dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.

Masalah terbesar yang kita hadapi dalam relasi kita dengan orang lain adalah kita seringkali menuntut orang-orang di sekitar kita padahal kita harus melakukan sebaliknya. Alangkah indahnya kita juga bisa memberi untuk keluarga kita.

Pertanyaan terbesar adalah, mengapa kita harus melayani?
1. Roma 11 : 36
Bahwa segala sesuatu yang ada pada kita, bukan milik kita, tetapi merupakan titipan Tuhan, yang suatu saat akan Tuhan ambil. Tuhan mengaruniakan itu semua, seupaya kita bisa menjadi berkat bagi orang lain. Tuhan berikan BANYAK. Tetapi sekalinya Tuhan minta dari kita, selalu kita tolak, seolah-olah semua yang kita miliki (waktu, energi, tubuh, dll) itu adalah milik kita.

2. Setiap kita butuh hidup yang bermakna
Tuhan menghendaki kita memiliki hidup yang bermakna, supaya kita bisa meninggalkan dunia dengan karya kita. Supaya orang akan mengenang kita karena keindahan yang kita tinggalkan.

3. Karena melayani adalah kesempatan
Dan bahwa kesempatan tidak datang 2x. Dan akan ada masanya kita tidak akan dapat melakukan sesuatu, tapi kita tidak bisa berbuat apapun. Karena itu, akan lebih baik jika tidak menyia-nyiakan kesempatan yang datang untuk melayani.

Jadi, haruskah kita melayani? Sekarang?

Today's Daily Bread - May 1, 2011

Just as the seasons of the year continue, so do the cycles of life—birth and death, success and failure, sin and confession. Although we have no power to stop the clock while we’re enjoying good times, we can rest in God’s promise that eventually all bad times will end (Rev. 21:4).