Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Last One

It feels surreal. There are too many things rushing through my head, keeping me awake at night. Everything flashes by. The memories, the questions, the wishes, the regrets, everything. And honestly, that is weakening.

Don't you remember it's just like few weeks ago I got back from my trip and how I felt so refreshed -guess that does not stay for long. You can't really mend things that are already broken, huh?

Oh yes, I am so tempted to cry, for all the things I failed doing. But what saddens me the most is that I know I inherit some of the attributes from my parents, and I feel clueless. I do want to be different, and I don't know why I am like this. Yes, I badly want to deny myself, redeem this feeling, but I guess reality bites. 

This time, I am just hoping that I would toughen up. If possible, no single drop of tears. Because I am not sure if I could change anything. Maybe we're just not meant to be together. I just want to tell myself that I will be able to get through this. And I am starting the positive attitude not by crying to my bed, but by writing. To remind myself, that everything is possible. That bad times can turn into good ones depending on how we deal with it. 

Hope I will stay spirited. This time for longer. Amen.