Sunday, September 27, 2015


I just realized how ambitious we were. After Teguh came back from Russia-Poland-Prague trip, we took the rest of the following weekends to Bali, Lampung, Singapore, Japan (only me) and lastly, Bangkok. I hardly remember the weekends that we spent in Jakarta. 

From those trips, certainly we learned more about each other, what we like and dislike about each other -and that perhaps struck me with a fact that yes, maybe we are not ready yet. There's still a lot going on and the road is not a real smooth one. 

Many people tying the knots these days, and I really mean "many". Sometimes I wonder why we are not there yet, but I started to understand why. Ours still needs a lot of work. Although what I really long is for us to live happily together, waking up to each other with a big smile and affection, cooking for dinner, and cherishing each and every moment together --I guess it's realistic to work on what we need to work on. 

Just hoping for the best....


Despite the abundant piles of work due to my absence, I still can't concentrate to finish my work. It still feels like holiday, like I am not ready to go back and face the reality. Reality bites, people said. I guess it's true. 

The short trip to Japan quite helped me to gain fresh (if not new) perspective on (purpose and partner of) life. I feel new, I feel energized, I feel happy. It gives me my sanity back. And I swear I don't want to let anyone ruin it. Wish me luck this time :D

It was such an adventurous, memorable trip! Thanks to the best host ever, Faelasufa. It was seriously so much fun travelling with you!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

True Colors?

“You with the sad eyes…
Don’t be discouraged
Oh I realize
It’s hard to take courage
In a word full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small…..”

The more you grow up, the more you will be likely to feel exactly that. I am in the point of life when everything looks blurry to me. I can no longer see who I really am nor what I really want in life. I am just broken.

I go through days when I started to learn that I have been naïve the whole time. I thought I made my priority clear, and apparently that just did not happen. You are simply not satisfied with everything, you can never have it all, not with a smallest chance. You got disappointed.

You started to question everything, if you made the right choices, if you would ever be successful, but on top of all, if you just have a bad omen. Seriously, sounds ridiculous but you just can’t help it.