Monday, April 25, 2011

A Fantastic City Park

As my idol, Emil, the Architect, believes that a great city should have more public spaces since it is a place where interaction begins, I also believe that public places is a place where balance will be gained only if it serves as green zone, or the so-called nature reservation.

A balance of life which I defined as a combination of modernity and preservation of natural resources.

It is undeniable that we can never live without nature. Therefore, I strongly believe in the importance of public places in the crowded living spaces like city, or should I say city park.

For this notion, I take off my hat for Singaporean Government who tried their best to serve public not only with the best technology for the sake of ease of living - that results in the sophisticated buildings and constructions, but also with the place to release exhaustion contrived by fast work paces.

Even more, those places are not in the end of the world (read : far away from city), unreachable, or even remote. Those places are just right all over the city itself. It is everywhere you can find.

And today, I dropped in to Chinese Garden, a huge nature park nearby Jurong, that is a 3 mrt station away from my place. I was stunned with the nature, the architecture, and the distinct atmosphere. It is nothing like the Central Business District. It is nothing like Singapore.

It was just fantastic! Super spacious, it was cushioned by plants and lakes. A very impressive place to visit and to find an inspiration. Or just to release stress. Or to hang out with friends. Or just to be alone and savor the ambience.

A round of applause for the government, again, for providing such chances to the citizen to embark the beauty of nature, to learn to love nature even more, to appreciate what nature has given us.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Recently, I dedicated some of my times for Flickr!
Although I am no photographer at all, I just want to share some of great places I visited here.

Ubin Island - Before The Moment Deteriorates

"Before the moment deteriorates.."

That was what Peter answered me when I asked him the reason why he uploaded all of the pictures in his camera just right after we reached home. Peter, Joseph, Adi, and I went to Ubin Island today. We have been waiting and planning for the trip such long time ago but just made it on this Saturday when it was raining in the morning which totally blew our hopes to go. Fortunately, Peter insisted to go and so there were we, spending the evening together.

I just love the relax ambience, you can feel the beauty of the nature. Yeah, I forgot to spill out that Ubin Island is some sort of a nature reservation for mangroves in Singapore. Compared to Indonesia, it might not be the best (Ubin), but they really made the best out of it. They tried to attract people through its advertising. Furthermore, I think the government also support Ubin Island to be one of its tourist destination. For this, I guess we should learn more from them.

One thing that kinda disturbed my excitement were the mosquitos. They left remarks after sucking your blood, hated it. Now the marks are just all over my body.

I love it!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


lelah rasanya berminggu-minggu, menghabiskan tenaga untuk mereka.
menguras otak, menguras waktu, menguras hati pula.
mana yang salah pun aku tak tahu.

harusnya, kedua-duanya yang salah.
tak ditemukan oleh jalan tengah.

tak berdaya.

terlambat sudah.
penyesalan memang selalu datang di waktu yang tak diinginkan.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Glory to The Lord

I have known the Father's care for me
He's been good He's been good
Through it all He's always there for me
God's been good to me

Through the storms
Through the night
Come what may everything
Will be all right
I have known the Father's
Care for me
God's been good to me

God, thank you for your unceasingly love.
I could never thank You enough for everything You have done in my life.
For all of the wonderful friends surround me, I just wish that Your light will shine upon our faces, forever.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I wish you all the best

I just went through our emails, those mails that we had sent each other during our treasure moments.
Not that it matters anymore, it just reminds me of the days we used to share.
The days where I felt like I would rather die beside you, instead of living without you.
The days where I thought I would never love somebody like I how I loved you.

Dear, it is true.
Impossible to me, to ever love somebody like I loved you.
But I should go on without you.
I have no idea if you are coming back again in a near distant future or anytime later.
One thing for sure,
I will cherish all of our memories forever.

Until I decide to marry someone, start a family, and raise my kids.
Until the moment I could possibly remember.
I will still remember you, and every second we had together.
It was just a blast, for me.
To ever have you in my arms, to ever love you sincerely and fully.

You were a present, and will always be.

Thank you babe.

I wish you love.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Thursday, April 14, 2011

message in the bottle

As I have mentioned before, I finished reading "Message in the Bottle", another masterpiece of Nicholas Sparks. As usual, he gently infiltrated to the reader's heart -not mind- by depicting the romance of all times. Seriously, I found it very hard to describe how I was touched by the novel in words, so here I am, trying to present the letters from the lovers in the story. You probably can imagine what the story is all about, just from the letters - hopefully :p

Dear Teresa,

Can you forgive me?
In a world that I seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore. You, my darling, are the wind that I did not anticipate, the wind that has gusted more strongly than I ever imagined possible. You are my destiny.

I was wrong, so wrong, to ignore what was obvious, and I beg your forgiveness. Like a cautious traveler, I tried to protect myself from the wind and lost my soul instead. I was a fool to ignore my destiny, but even fools have feelings, and I've come to realize that you are the most important thing that I have in this world.

I know I am not perfect. I've made more mistakes in the past few months than some make in a lifetime. I was wrong to have acted as did when I found the letters, just as I was wrong to hide the truth about what I was going through with respect to my past. When I chased you as you drove down the street and again as I watched you leave from the airport, I knew I should have tried harder to stop you. But most of all, I was wrong to deny what was obvious in my heart; that I can't go on without you.

You were right about everything. When we sat in my kitchen, I tried to deny the things you were saying, even though I knew they were true. Like a man who gazes only backward on a trip across the country, I ignored what lay ahead. I missed the beauty of a coming sunrise, the wonder of anticipation, that makes life worthwhile. It was wrong of me to do that, a product of my confusion, and I wish I had come to understand that sooner.

Now, though, with my gaze fixed toward the future, I see your face and hear your voice, certain that this is the path I must follow. It is my deepest wish that you give me one more chance. As you might have guessed, I'm hoping that this bottle will work its magic, as it did once before, and somehow bring us back together.

For the first few days after you left, I wanted to believe that I could go on as I always had. But I couldn't. Every time I watched the sun go down, I thought of you. Every time I walked by the phone, I yearned to call. Even when I went sailing, I could only think of you and the wonderful times we had. I knew in my heart that my life would never be the same again. I wanted you back, more than I imagined possible. yet whenever I conjured you up, I kept hearing your words in our last conversation. No matter how much I loved you, I knew it wasn't going to be possible unless we - both of us - were sure I would devote myself fully to the path that lay ahead. I continued to be troubled by these thoughts until late last night when the answer finally came to me. Hopefully, after I tell you all about it, it will mean as much to you as it did to me.

In my dream, I saw myself on the beach with Catherine, in the same spot I took you after our lunch at Hank's. It was bright in the sun, the rays reflecting brilliantly off the sand. As we walded alongside each other, she listened intently as I told her about you, about us, about the wonderful times we shared. Finally, after some hesitation, I admitted that I loved you, but that I felt guilty about it. She said nothing right away but simply kept walking until she finally turned to me and asked, "Why?"

"Because of you."

Upon hearing my answer, she smiled at me with patient amusement, the way she used to before she died. "Oh, Garrett," she finally said as she gently touched my face, "who do you think it was that brought the bottle to her?"

When I woke, I felt empty and alone. The dream did not comfort me. Rather, it made me ache inside because of what I had done to us, and I began to cry. When I finally pulled myself together, I knew what I had to do. With shaking hand, I wrote two letters : the one you're holding in your hand right now, and one to Catherine, in which I finally said my good-bye. Today, I'm taking Happenstance out to send it to her, as I have with all the others. It will be my last letter - Catherine, in her own way, has told me to go on, and I have chosen to listen. Not only to her words, but also to the leanings of my heart that lead me back to you.

Oh, Theresa, I am sorry, so very sorry, that I ever hurt you. I am coming to Boston next week with the hope that you find a way to forgive me. Maybe, I'm too late now. I don't know.

Theresa, I love you and always will. I am tired of being alone. I see children crying and laughing as they play in the sand, and I realize I want to have children with you. I want to watch Kevin as he grows into a man. I want to hold your hand and see you cry when he finally takes a bride, I want to kiss you when his dreams come true. I will move to Boston if you ask because I cannot go on this way. I am sick and sad without you. As I sit here in the kitchen, I am praying that you will let me come back to you, this time forever.


The letter below was the reply. It will give you a better idea of how the story was nicely done.

My darling,

One year has passed since I sat with your father in the kitchen. It is late at night and though the words are coming hard to me, I can't escape the feeling that it's time that I finally answer your question.

Of course I forgive you. I forgive you now, and I forgave you the moment I read your letter. In my heart, I had no other choice. Leaving you once was hard enough; to have done it a second time would have been impossible. I love you too much to have let you go again. Though I'm still grieving over what might have been, I find myself thankful that you came into my life for even a short period of time. In the beginning, I'd assumed that we were somehow brought together to help you through your time of grief. Yet now, one year later, I've come to believe that it was the other way around.

Ironically, I am in the same position you were, the first time we met. As I write, I am struggling with the ghost of someone I loved and lost. I now understand more fully the difficulties you were going through, and I realize how painful it must have been for you to move on. Sometimes, my grief is overwhelming, and even though I understand that we will never see each other again, there is a part of me that wants to hold on to you forever. It would be easy for me to do that because loving someone else might diminish my memories of you. Yet, this is the paradox : Even though I miss you greatly, it's because of you that I don't dread the future. Because you were able to fall in love with me, you have given me hope, my darling. You taught me that it's possible to move forward in life, no matter how terrible your grief. And in your own way, you've made me believe that true love cannot be denied.

Right now, I don't think I'm ready, but this is my choice. Do not blame yourself. Because of you, I am hopeful that there will come a day when my sadness is replaced by something beautiful. Because of you, I have the strength to go on.

I don't know if spirits do indeed roam the world, but if they do, I will sense your presence everywhere. When I listen to the ocean, it will be your whispers; when I see a dazzling sunset, it will be your image in the sky. You are not gone forever, no matter who comes into my life. You are standing with God, alongside my soul, helping to guide me toward a future that I cannot predict.

This is not a good-bye, my darling, this is a thank-you. Thank you for coming into my life and gibing me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go.

I love you.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


11-13 April, 2011

Sweet Escape

For a second time in 2011, I was back in Malaysia. Again, it was for a sweet escape from stressful reality in Singapore :P

Right before the departure, I was super stressed out, trying to meet all deadlines, working day and night for my assignments. Not to mention, the quarrel with my group mates, plus the hard times using my laptop, Mona, which had been crashing for some time, all driving my stress level worse.

This time, I made a trip to Tioman Island, one of the well-known Islands in Malaysia. I did not know that it was so near from Singapore (only 3 hours away, I reckon) that I went to Kuala Lumpur to catch up with Kris before heading to Mersing, the only port to reach Tioman, located at Johor.

Consequently, it tok me 10 hours (Sin-KL-Mersing) sitting in the bus. Another 7 hours waiting in the bus station and port for the first ferry to come and bring us to the Island. It did not end that way, though. It was tougher since the ferry itself cost almost 2 hours. What a long time travelling.

Nonetheless, there would always be payoff for everything. The trip was tremendously awesome! We spent 3 days there with one-time snorkeling trip in which the sightseeing of the corals and fish are FAN-bloody-TASTIC. It really was a true biodiversity, if you know what I am talking about. Although that was only one part of the activities, I enjoyed it to the fullest. Totally recommended!

The other days were spent by cycling, strolling down the beach, chilling, witnessing the beauty of the nature (the beach-the stars-the moon), and getting around the area. It was quite day-break for the struggling days before, even though to get home to KL, we needed to spend another 14 hours! Tiring, but fun. I would just count it as experience. There was nothing to regret.

During the holidays, I finished the book "Message in the Bottle" by Nicholas Spark. I couldn't wait to share how touching and inspiring the book was.

Despite the fact that I am flat broke now, I couldn't thank Kris even more, for the plan, for the company, for the jokes, for the bullshits, for everything that is impossible to mention.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

happy birthday to Jerry Karaprianto

Wish you all the best. God Be With You.

Monday, April 4, 2011

luapan hati pagi hari

Seratus empat puluh tiga hari sudah berlalu dengan cepatnya, meninggalkan warna-warni hari kemarin, namun bukan ingatan-ingatan akan kamu.

Aku memang telah berhasil mengumpulkan seunggah keberanian untuk melangkah maju, walaupun perih melanda batin.
Aku memang telah berhasil melupakan sentuhanmu, tapi tidak senyummu.
Suaramu, tapi tidak rasa nyaman bersamamu.
Candamu, tapi tidak pesonamu.

Lantas, apakah aku masih tinggal dalam bayang-bayangmu?
Aku pun tak tahu.

Kupikir, aku telah dapat melewati hari-hari berat tanpamu,
membuang segala kegetiran yang tertelan sejak hari itu.
Kupikir, aku telah berjalan tegak setelah aku berada jauh dari kamu.
Kupikir, aku telah dapat membusungkan dada,
bisa tertawa tanpa kamu.

indahnya waktu bersamamu masih bisa merasuki aku,
hingga aku merasakan getaran-getaran aneh menyusuri tubuhku.

masih bisa membuat aku goyah, tak lagi berpijak di tanah.
selalu bisa membuat aku jatuh,
lagi dan lagi.

Hidup ini memang tak pernah sama tanpa kamu.

Kapankah kamu akan benar-benar pergi?


"Ya aku kan tahu kegiatan kamu dari blog kamu. Kamu mana pernah cerita?"

akankah semua berlalu?

Entah mengapa, hari ini perasaan saya campur aduk. Campur aduk bukan main.
Apa yang membuat semua ini terjadi pun saya tak tahu menahu.
Yang saya tahu hanya lah kenyataan bahwa saya ingin menangis, walaupun tanpa alasan yang pasti.

Ah, mungkin ini hanya sindrom datang bulan saja.

Ya, alasan itu kerap kali muncul. Tapi memang tak bisa saya pungkiri bahwa setiap datang bulan, selalu saja perasaan galau semacam ini pasti timbul dan tenggelam.

Sudah lama ya, blog saya ini tidak diisi dengan kegalauan maupun kelabilan anak remaja semacam ini. Saya memang berusaha keras untuk menghindar dari semua perasaan-perasaan, yang saya kategorikan negatif sekarang.

Saya hanya tidak ingin mengecewakan para sahabat dan teman yang telah begitu baik dan penuh komitmen untuk membantu saya melewati masa-masa kelam di waktu yang lalu.

Namun apa daya ketika separuh jiwa saya berteriak minta tolong, karena tak sanggup lagi menanggung beban yang selama ini saya pendam. Ada terlalu banyak yang saya simpan. Ada terlalu banyak yang berusaha saya kubur.
Saya tidak ingin, sama sekali tidak ingin, mengingat lagi wajah yang sama, mengenang momen yang sama, mengulang-ngulang pahit masa lalu.
Rasanya sama saja seperti mengais-ngais luka yang telah berhasil tertutup.

Ingin teriak rasanya semua darah ini. Mengapa setiap saat ada saja hal yang membuat saya stagnan. Ada saja hal yang membuat saya tidak bisa melihat ke depan?
Kenapa ada banyak orang yang justru menyuruh saya melihat lagi ke belakang?

Letih. Letih rasanya.


Serius. Pergi lah.

perempuan tangguh

Kalau Anda mau belajar keteguhan yang sebenarnya, belajar lah pada Ignes Pricillia, salah satu sahabat yang benar-benar dapat meresapi kata "keteguhan" dengan sangat dalam.

Dengan postur tubuh yang kecil, tak ada seorang pun yang mampu menduga kekuatan yang dimilikinya.

Masalah demi masalah menimpanya. Masalah yang seharusnya membuat dia terpuruk, mungkin jatuh tersungkur dan tak bisa berdiri lagi. Masalah yang pastinya bukan main-main.

Anehnya, dia bukan cuma berdiri. Dia sanggup melangkah lagi. Sanggup meninggalkan zona amannya. Sanggup melupakan kesedihannya dan bangkit.

Bangkit dan menyusuri jalan penuh liku dan simpangan tajam. Jalan yang mungkin tak sanggup saya ikuti.

Ignes adalah satu dari sahabat saya yang selalu memberikan inspirasi untuk melihat kehidupan dengan lebih baik. Melihat banyak sekali hal yang sebenarnya AMAT DAPAT disyukuri. Namun, karena terlalu banyak melihat ke atas, hal-hal semacam itu jadi kabur. Jadi kabut yang tipis, yang tidak mampu menyelimuti hati dengan dinginnya.

Tetap semangat, nes.
Di mana ada kemauan, di situ ada jalan.

Buat yang lain, buka mata hati dan telinga.
Lihat dengan kepekaan hati. Ada banyak hal yang bisa kalian syukuri.

Love you Ignes,

Saturday, April 2, 2011

seeds of hope exhibition

Couple of days ago, Min Er dragged me to this exhibition. I did not have any idea of what the exhibition was all about. It came to my surprise that it changed my heart after I went there. It really was an eye-opening program, created by the joint venture of Soka Gakkai International (Buddhist Organization) with The Earth Charter (an international declaration to build a sustainaible generation in 21st century). However, this exhibition was not to doctrine me about Buddha. It was a totally different agenda.

It told me about (1) human interconnection with nature, that we simply can't just live without it and how the nature has always become the part of our soul; (2) global crisis that are happening at the moment : the fact that human selfishness has something to do with the poverty, environmental degradation, and human conflict; (3) the change of heart : we can change the future by having a change of heart first.

Okay, I am not going to blabber or try to advertise the exhibition. I was just inspired. This was where the inspiration got on my nerves.

Looking back at how the nature has changed, we seemed powerless. One, cannot do anything. As youth, what can we do? We then chose to stay in our position : doing nothing. In contrast, the Seeds of Hope opened my eyes by saying, WE SHOULD NEVER LOSE HOPE. We should start from ONE. We should always have the hope, as we change ourselves. They believe, that by starting it from the root, us, and our family, we can motivate a bigger group : our community, then our country, and the world as a whole. And it all starts from ONE.

They even had all of those concrete examples, those who really tried to CHANGE. I am super sorry that I couldn't describe what they have contributed to their community. You can ask for personal email from me :p There were Nick Illaud from Canada, Hazel Handerson, Wangari Maathai (The 2006 Nobel Prize Winner from Africa), Hikori Takeda from Tokyo, Joanna Wilkes from UK, Reto Juvenil from Costa Rica, Rajendra Singh from India, Davoring Brdanovic from Bosnia-Herzegovina. All of them were just examples of people that really made CHANGE in their environment.

Most important thing is, how are we going to do it? People have started. Why don't we start NOW?

There are simple things that we can actually do to change :
and many other simple things.

Start with your family, grab your community, and have a hope for bigger one.

Hoaaaa, it's just very hard for me to explain. I hope you understand all of these.
Hereby, I just attached one of the panels displayed in the exhibition. Hope it helps :)

in front of the class

Another inspiration just came to life.
I watched one movie, titled "In Front of Class", telling a story about Brad Cohen, who happened to live with a tourette syndrome since he was 6 years old. The sickness made him voice out the funny noises from her mouth. Everyone considered it funny as it sounded like the barking of a dog thus kept mocking him as "weirdo". He got bullied at school, but he just couldn't help it for he could not control any of the sounds at all. Pity him.

When he went for a community supports, it did not help at all. Most of the people who also got affected by the same syndrome chose to leave the world (read : stay at home), they dared not to go out. It was because back then, there were not much research for this syndrome, as well as the cure - it wasn't available.

Thankfully, he had his VERY supportive mom, who unconditionally supported him in every way, telling him repeatedly that TS (the abbreviation for tourette syndrome) should never get in his way. He should never let TS win over everything : his dreams, his love, anything.

There was also this principal in his middle school, helping him to get accepted among his friends by emphasizing the purpose of school, which was to educate. That was how Brad got inspired to be a teacher : to educate.

It was not easy to finally got settled in one school, he met a pile of obstacles along the way. With his sickness with him, it looked like impossible to teach with that condition. Nonetheless, he finally made it to be a teacher, the school accepted his condition and he was so freaking happy that his dream came true.

At the end, he learned that his syndrome was the best teacher after all, because it taught him not to let his weakness win over him. It taught him that he should never give up. He could still reach his dream although through a very tough process.

Cliche, it may sound to you.
But I find it profoundly true, especially to what I am facing now.
Recently, a lot of problems just washed me up. And there are still more coming up.
This film let me think twice about solving my problems.


Cause it will only bring me to regret.

That was a true story. Inspiring movie. You should just watch.