Friday, December 26, 2014

I don't know why today I feel like there's nothing that can make me feel better. Got so disappointed on something rather trivial (not for me though).

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

That being Christian is not only about praying and going to church. It is a value of life: positivism, and perseverance, and true love. 

Happy Christmas!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Hopefully A Conclusion

I have been trying to sit down, relax and write -just want to crystallize all blessings I have received throughout the year, all the lessons learned, the joy and the beauty altogether. Am thankful for my Dad and Mom, brother and sister, grandma & extended family, for old & new friends, and most of all for the sweetest partner in crime. Those are the ones that really made the year such a joyous, yet meaningful ride. 

While 2013 is a year full of 'lessons', 2014 is indeed brighter. It taught me different lessons that I gladly embraced. Work and the tough demands, personal relationship with bf and closed friends and family, new people I have met, all taught me 'hard' on multiple different angles of my personality. It's been rough, but I can't be more grateful for what have happened. I learned a lot. 

Would be impossible for me to write them all down, but I will try to capture some of the most memorable ones (those I might discover back in the old days, but found a momentum to be rediscovered this year):

That the most noble work a child can do is to devote his/her life to care about his/her parents.
It is still being discussed (in my head), as I am still being so selfish with my life I rarely devote my resources to my parents. A discussion with the beloved one taught me hard on how many times children feel privileged. They feel they deserve the rights to be loved, to enjoy good education and life and be raised with love. What they sometimes forget is the fact that they do have the duty to payback. Or perhaps, let's not use the word duty. But, wouldn't it be wonderful if someone fights and works hard not only to satisfy one self, but also to take care of their parents?

That wisdom is not about being understanding on plenty different occasions, it is, in fact, about being aware of the things that you can and cannot control.
Enough said? Being mature and wise means you can differentiate the things that you can control and the rest. So, stop being so resistant and hardheaded on the things that you can do nothing about. I would always tell people about this analogy of your hand lines (that the one in your right hand doesn't change and the one in your left does -in fact it changes everyday). In life, there are things God has given to you as an ultimate gift, e.g. family; and there are things that you can change, e.g. career. Wisdom is in fact the ability to differentiate and act accordingly.

That looking at the view in details can kill you at a point; 
and that have a bigger perspective help you succeed
I get happy easily because of small things, but get easily stressed because of the same small stuffs.Compared to the person I ****, he has this big-picture-mindset as in he sees things a bigger perspective. He would zoom out the moment he is in, and see it in a 10 years frame, and find that it really does not matter -what happened to you today that made you sad. I realize that I focused too much on those little details, I need to at least adjust, else I wouldn't be happy for the rest of my life -I would get stuck, stay fixated on the small small stuffs that in many times do not count. He also mentioned how people nowadays tend to sacrifice many things in life (i.e. a career) for a short term reward. People forget what they want to achieve in 10 years, and go only for the 1-2 year experience that might only hinder them going where they need to go. I guess, we don't want to lose perspective, right? We better see things in a bigger frame as much as we like to stay in the details.

That people don't really change. 
Especially parents. However hard you want them (and other people) to change, it is a waste of time. Because you, yourself, you don't really change. You are the same person that can claim to have been beaten up and mentally abused but still have a good heart, if you do. You are the same person that is whiny and ungrateful and you can't really change anything about it. However, to live  harmoniously pushes you to not just live with 'take it or leave it' attitude. You can be better -you just need to work hard for it. And praying is not the key. Ora et Labora is. You work hard and ask God for help. 

That there's no such thing as perfection. 
All that is left is plenty of hard works. 
There's no perfect job. Steve Jobs did not get where he was just because. He got there with hard works. Again, the young generations or perhaps naive youngsters still believe that there is an ideal job where you have great boss, great development opportunity, great money, great position, great environment in their first year of work. It didn't happen in a blink of an eye, sadly. It comes with perspiration and perseverance. Even in the most comfortable job that you do, you will still find something that makes you uncomfortable, some tasks that you just want to get over with. It applies to relationship as well. There's no such thing as perfect match. People need to work hard to make relationships work, without any single exception. 

That stress management is a skill you need to develop over time 
to be able to survive anywhere in the world. 
Illnesses come and go, but who knows that the biggest trigger is your stress level? Nothing new, actually. People always thought that as long as you have good grades, can-do attitude and a little bit of luck, you can conquer the world. Honestly, the one thing people forget is the ability to handle and manage stress level. It is a thing you must require to be able to survive anywhere you go. Still related to the 'wisdom' point, you need to adjust the mechanism (to handle stress) accordingly. Start identifying things you can't really control and move on?

That there are things in life you just need to accept. 
Heard this phrase in October, and decided to leave the place I worked for because I couldn't accept the fact that people make decisions without consulting with me (when I am the stakeholders affected from the decisions). Life is unfair, indeed. Work is unfair, indeed. People would ramble on how I should be more mature in accepting those kind of things, that it happens anywhere you work, etc. Well, I have chosen to accept the fact that it's been an 'abusive' relationship I have with work, and it's time to let go, for the better future ahead. Not that I don't love it anymore, I still pour my heart into it, I just need to move on -embrace all the uncertainty to stand for what I believe in. At the end of the day, it's never that simple. It's complicated, yet I have thought about it. 

That it all starts in the family.. 
I have known many good families all my life, those whose parents are still celebrating their anniversaries, spending the time together in a romantic trip, or those who hold hands during church time. But I realize how deep it is to actually have a family that is built on great values. The ones whose parents converse on the vision they want to achieve together as a family. The ones who raise the children with maturity, training them to analyze, criticize and be opened with various perspectives. Or the ones who teach the children on honesty, humility and hard work. Family, is something that you can't take for granted. It takes commitment and hard work to build a great one. The impact is everlasting so you better be extra careful with all decisions you have. At the end of the day, you want to deliver meaningful individual into the world, not just someone that people will forget, or even hate. 

That being 'self-less' is the key
Individualism kept you fixated on your own self. You care for nothing but yourself. You are busy making yourself happy, sometimes at the expense of other people. Worse, you don't care if you do. Unfortunately, life is about living with each other, it's all about relationships you make at home, at school, at work, at your community, etc. People used to get carried away with what they think is best for them, they tend to forget that other people are involved and so many things wouldn't go as planned, for the sake of everyone's interests. To be able to sustain and grow a relationship, you need to step back, and take off your self glass for a while, to see the others from a different perspective. From the bonum commune perspective. That life is about sustaining the life together with other people. 

That good people attract good people

That fighting actually helps you to know the other person better
It hurts, really, when you fight and feel so uncomfortable. But then I figured a lot of things I thought never existed when we tried to reconcile. I began to see even deeper the person I care about, and he is the most wonderful person I could imagine, with his perspectives and careful thoughts. I am in love -deeply, madly, in love.

Cheers to 2015. For the brigther, brighter year ahead. 

Friday, December 19, 2014

Hold my hand and talk to me. Will you?

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Every morning spent with you is the moment I treasure......

Monday, December 8, 2014

I find people who write too sexy.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Seandainya saja kamu bisa berbohong, atau berpura-pura, bahwa kebahagiaan ini bukan karena dia. Seandainya saja kamu bisa memandang ini semua dari sudut yang berbeda. Bahwa sudah sepatutnya kamu menciptakan kebahagiaan kamu sendiri. Bahwa kamu tidak dapat menjadikan dirinya sumber kebahagiaanmu. 

Kenapa harus salah?

Tuesday, December 2, 2014


Your love is bright as ever
Even in the shadows
Baby kiss me
Before they turn the lights out
Your heart is glowing
And I’m crashing into you
Baby kiss me
Before they turn the lights out
Before they turn the lights out
Baby love me lights out

In the darkest night I’ll

I’ll search through the crowd
Your face is all that I see
I’ll give you everything
Baby love me lights out
Baby love me lights out
You can turn my light down

We don’t have forever

Ooh, baby daylight’s wasting
You better kiss me
Before our time is run out (yeah, eh, eh)
Nobody sees what we see
They’re just hopelessly gazing
Baby take meBefore they turn the lights out
Before time is run out
Baby love me lights out
Just realized how interesting and relaxing and energizing and meaningful our conversation was. And healthy. What a loving night.