Thousands of thousands of wedding videos I have watched never successfully prevented me from tearing apart. Been wondering how my wedding day is going to be, and am still wishing it to be perfect. Gosh, it's really painful. I have always imagined a wedding day of my own, a day I would cherish forever, a day that I finally start my new life with somebody I truly desire, a day where I would care for nothing else but the love that we share.
Am just being a kid. Unrealistic one. I have always thought that love will be so powerful it will prevail. All I ever want was to have someone that will support and love me unconditionally, someone that won't underestimate me for what I am doing. Instead, I need someone to back me up in the worst moment of my life. It is just hurtful to know that a person you love wholeheartedly is not that someone.
I could list down all of his weaknesses and feel satisfied now that we are not together, but that's not how I feel happy. That is simply not what I want. What I want is for him to be someone I am dreaming of, I could take his downsides, I could accept his values and characters, but I just want to be accepted for who I am, what I do, how I behave.
I don't need excuses, I just want commitment. Was it really that hard to you?
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