I can’t do this. Or to pretend doing this. I simply need someone who can be there for me, to care, and to take care of me. I thought that’s pretty simple, but that’s something you never did, or you probably did in a way that I couldn’t bear with. I pretend to be happy, to be tough, but I am suffering inside. I have been crying many nights just because I am begging for you to at least take a look at what I want. But you never did.
I know I am happy having somebody to push me doing great things in life. But what I need is love, care, and support. I thought being rational is the best way. Yet I can never lie to my heart.
I love you dear, I really do. But I can’t do this. The words ‘I love you’ can’t take away the needs to be embraced and loved. It’s the attitude. It’s in the action. And I couldn’t find it in you.
You have been questioning my heart. But this is me, wholeheartedly loving you without ever saying so. But I am always here, forgiving every single mistake you did to me. Caring you with all my heart and soul, without you even realizing.
Gotta find myself. Gotta be tougher. Gotta leave you soon. Can’t pretend to be okay no more. Can’t keep up.
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