“If you can go through this, you can go through everything.”
More or less, that is the
moral of the story that he feels like telling me. Well, I could not deny the
fact that it has been tough. Honestly, I have never been in this situation
before. Turns out, it is killing me.
But I do not think I will
die. Maybe not. I am known for my rants. I am used to ranting about many
things, hardship in life is definitely included. One thing that I seem to miss
out is the fact that I am my biggest enemy. Yes, my head. My brain. My negative
mindset seems to get in the way. AND YES I CAN NOT BE MORE THAN TIRED this
point of time. I AM EXHAUSTED to face same challenge every time, and to face
the reality that PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE.
Hmmm, that’s tricky
though. At some point I feel like I begin to get better. Like, seriously, a
better person. But, at some other point, I DO NOT. LIKE, REALLY. In fact, these
days, I feel WORSE. I am turning into a monster. AND THAT IS EVEN HARDER TO
FACE.
Blaming others is the easiest
thing, of course. Dealing with the truth, is what one sometimes could not
comprehend –and I guess that is me, btw.
Ah ya, I know you can’t
get what I am writing. Me neither. My thoughts have been too spread out and
jumbled at the same time.
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