Being wounded for so many times in the past years unexpectedly brought you into a different nuance of life. Growing a greater sense of negativity might be one, but what happened last night was totally another level of negativity. I have never imagined how the whole past experiences sabotaged my brain to grow this paranoia. I began imagining things I was not supposed to. Bottom line is, I could not just feel happy and accept the fact that things went well for the few weeks. I was drown to think that things were just too good to be true, and so I needed to be suspicious about the whole thing. So, again, for so many times I lost count, restless became something definite, and tears was just inevitable.
Yes, I was flooded by tears, disappointments, fears, hurts --so not okay. But then I suddenly realized something of importance that successfully brought me back to life: loving friends who really cared, spending the night just to cheer me up and calm me down. What more could you possibly ask? Those are the support system that I was supposed to have long time ago, because those are the ones who brought me back to my own feet and have faith that things will go well, and every body deserves happiness.
Thank you. I am who I am today because of all of you.
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