Opposition

Tonight is not a new night. It is a same night when I would feel lonely, very sensitive and not confident about everything. The journey has not been too smooth. In fact, this journey is crazily bumpy; it hits my face too many times. I am tired, I am exhausted, but I am happy. To be able to create a smile in other people’s faces, deliver satisfaction for others, it’s so damn amazing to me.  But why? Why do I feel like this for so many times?

Indeed, everything is going to be alright at the end, but why do these feelings keep on coming back? Despite my hard work, despite the prayers I have sent, despite all the good things that have happened to me? Like it’s never enough. Like it’s an unfinished business.

All I ever want was to be happy, to be surrounded by close friends, family and relatives, to love and be loved in return, to share the love to others. That is all. But why things get harder and harder and harder these days? Who are the ones actually care? Would there be any?

I just set another milestone yesterday, but why do I feel so crushed and lost today? Feeling like I have no idea where to go, no one to talk to, I felt so lonely..