Bosan

Writing can be so boring. I even find it a daunting task. However badly I want to be a food blogger, or an author, I just can't apply the discipline of writing -despite the rewarding feeing afterwards. Watching movies almost every time works better than blogging, sadly. And so I get caught up in the passive behavior instead of a more stimulating one. 

Up to one extent that I simply can't take it anymore. My head is too full, questioning a lot of things. Those questions seemed to crash one another inside the brain, waiting to be answered, or at least cared. 

Life is a simply complicated. There are not much changes. As much as people want to change, they stay the same. I stay the same, with more or less the same complication. I just knew that I got my reality check, most of the times in both "panggilan hidup" and "pasangan hidup". Life threw me to a different world, the one that I have never imagined before. 

It is hard, but it is also easy. It is just full of contradiction. You want to be thankful, yet things get tough many times. You want to make impact at work, but the situation is quite toxic you know you'll get affected. You want to be rational, but you can't help being too emotional. And so on and the opposite. 

So you get confused most of the times. And I am not sure if that is a good sign, or a bad sign. There are just way too many things you want to achieve but you need to face the ugly truth that it is not happening. You want to be extraordinary, but you like the ordinary. 

Or maybe it is the humane part of life, or of human. Human just don't change. Human just like to stay comfortable. 

Or it may not. 

I am seriously not sure. I get even more confused the more I write.