an oldtime story ; belajar merelakan

Ternyata, semakin dewasanya seseorang, ga cuma dewasa di fisik sama pikiran doang loh. Hehehehe, gw telat yah sadarnya?

Dewasa juga berarti dewasa bertindak, dewasa berbicara, dewasa mengambil keputusan, dewasa memaafkan, dan ada juga dewasa merelakan. Bukan berarti ketika usia kita bertambah, mengarah ke arah dewasa, lama kelamaan pasti semua bakal dewasa dengan sendirinya. Belom tentu. Kadang kita ga pernah kepikiran lagi, buat mendewasakan diri dalam memaafkan atau merelakan.

Hari ini gw belajar gimana merelakan sesuatu yang gw suka, gw adore, gw geluti, untuk gw lepas pergi. Sama seperti kalian (mungkin), gw gatau apa itu dewasa dalam hal merelakan. Gw juga baru tau hal ini, hari ini. After something happened to my life. And I just realized, that I need willingly, let it happened.

Jadi dengan umur gw yang udah 16 ini, ternyata gw belom cukup dewasa untuk belajar merelakan. Gw juga belom cukup dewasa untuk tegas sama keputusan yang gw ambil. Memang , hari ini gw bener bener belajar buat prinsipil, memegang prinsip yang emang dari sananya gw pilih. Tapi tenyata oh ternyata, gw masih mudah terombang ambing kalo mau ngambil keputusan.

Well, gw ga mau lagi itu terjadi. I will prevent that to happen.

Belajar merelakan, memaafkan, itu ga pernah gampang. Dan hari ini gw belajar. Untuk jadi dewasa, bukan cuma di segi fisik dan pikiran doang. Many things, we should be mature in them.

Jujur aja, hidup gw bakal berubah sejak hari ini. Di mana gw belajar merelakan untuk meninggalkan sesuatu, di mana gw selama ini ada di dalamnya. Perasaan gw ga karuan. Tapi, one of my friends said that this is the right time.

To change.

To get a turning point of my life.

And taste a new flavour of life.

This time, would be really hard for me. Tapi gw punya Tuhan, gw punya sahabat, gw punya teman teman, gw punya orang tua dan keluarga, and I believe they’ll support me in the way I do (and if its right of course)

This time, everything would go differently. Total different. Dan gw harus terbiasa sama semua itu. Gw harap, gw selalu tau apa yang akan dan harus gw lakukan di masa depan.

Friends, thanks for all your help J I really mean it so much.

To my friend gratia,

Honey, thanks for the way you made me realize. Thanks for the way you understand me, even in the hard time of life. Thanks. ILU.

To my friend, yandi,

Hey, I know maybe you wouldn’t realize, what you did to me. But I just wanna say thanks, for making me realize, that I can do it. and I am able to do it. the only problem is FEAR,which I cant go over it.

To my friend, fanka,

Also thanks to you, for teaching me that I have to move on with my life. Challenge a new fortune. And that I am a futuristic person. It means a lot today. Sorry for making you late seeing them.

To my friend tisa,

Tisa, you would never know how speechless I am to say thanks to you. You did every single thing in my life, and its completely perfect! I love you so damn much. Thank you for being honest with me. Thank you for guiding me everytime I need.

To my sister, putri,

Well maybe you have never appreciated me. Or you never counted on me. But I wanna thank you, for being my sister. For being a guidance. A guide. A sister. Thanks a lot.

To my mom,

Mom, I know maybe you’re disappointed with my choice. But this time, I need to be me. To be who am i. and I believe, you’ll trust me on this.

Friends that I have mentioned, are all of my friends that helped me especially yesterday, accompanied me through difficulties I’ve yesterday.

It doesn’t mean, that you I haven’t mentioned, didn’t mean everything to me.

You are everything to me.

Thanks for everything.

Thank you very much.

You have made my life such a wonderful live to be fit in J

Friends, thanks for your understanding. It makes me feel appreciated. And right as well.