great books to read

here, every time I was free, I took the chance to read books. the books listed below were just few of great books that touched my heart.

"But there is a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the story are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins."

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"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered of the search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second encounter with God and with eternity."

let me in

Bring me a lily and one loaf of bread
Take me home now
I can't forget any words that you've said
But they're gone now
Trying my best to keep up with your pace
But you're too fast
Trying my best to get off of this fence
For I won't last

Maybe we can try to be better this time
Maybe we can try to be better this time
I'm just a speckle of dust
In this gigantic world now
And I'm going only where the wind will take me
Bring me down now

And my smiles turn to tears
And I'm facing my fears
Can't you see me
Trying my best to reach out for your hand
You won't let me in
And I've done what I can
You keep changing your plans
Do you need me

Maybe we can try to be better this time
Maybe we can try to be better this time

So let me in
Let me in
Let me in
Let me in
Let me...

what a day with new mates :)

It was a doubtful Thursday. We all had gathered in Canteen A, planning to go to Ubin Island for our group experiential learning, but suddenly needed to change our plan due to the weather forecast that day. Yes, the forecast said it was going to rain, with 50/50 % chance of raining. Did not want to be caught in the rain while strolling over the island, we decided to find other places to go.

The final decision was made, after several yes(s) and no(s), it went to Underwater World in Sentosa, a place where we could see the marine life of tropical island like Singapore. We took 2 cabs to reach the place and got there by 3 pm. The clouds were a bit dark, therefore we felt relieved taking a decision not to go to Ubin Island. We bought the tickets and entered the Underwater World just then.

It was very full of people that day since most of them were with big groups. The very first thing caught our attention (and the other's attention) was the stingray pond as you could touch the stingray and feel their skin with your hands. There were many different types of stingrays. The one with the dots, the one which was jumbo, the gray one, the small one, so many stingrays. Most of our group members, especially those from Norway, they were so excited putting their hands in the water since it was so rare to find those kind of animals back in their home country. Anne, the "beach girl", and Oistein were so happy when the stingray approached them, even when those stingrays splashed water to them, they still insisted to stay. So funny.

I was not that excited since I have already saw many of tropical marine animals back home, in Indonesia. We had millions of animals since we had bigger seas with their rich natural resources. We had not only animals, but also coral reefs and marine plantation plus planktons. Hence, those scenes were "so-so" for me. However, I did not want to disappoint myself for spending $23 dollars getting inside, thus I tried to cherish every moment, looking for something I had never seen in my country.

There were sharks, crabs, jellyfishes, octopus, and many more. All of them were kept in tanks, with similar condition as their homes in wild nature. The one captured me was the sea angel, a very tiny and small creature, lived in Arctic Ocean, for it looked like a transparent butterfly, but instead of flying, they were swimming. I had never seen or known them before. The other one was the shark embryos. There was a tank where we could see the growing stages of shark embryos, and it was so amazing as I never had the chance to see them ever in my life.

The trip to Underwater World could have been just a trip until I started to think about this. I thought about God, about how He created all of those beautiful creatures, with all of the differences, complexity, and uniqueness. It was just so unbelievable and wonderful that it made me speechless. Unconsciously, I began to feel even closer with Him, only though the trip. But this one was a very personal issue that I should reflect more on my own. The other thing to reflect was surely a different thing. It was supposed to be something about our group. Eventually, after saying goodbye to all those sharks and stingrays, we went to Food Republic at Vivo City.

The food there was just attractive. Many kinds of food coming from different countries were put in the stalls. The smell made it impossible for us to miss the chance eating there. We tagged seats and began to explore every food available. It took us about 30 minutes to finally decide what food we were going to take. There, I found out that our friend, Anine, she always stayed safe, meaning that she always picked the same food she knew and felt hesitated to taste a new one. I suggester her many food, but she ended up eating something she had before, which was dumplings. No offense, Anine :)

On the table, we chatted about many interesting things. School, work, family, or even love life! It was so funny when Jimmy asked Oistein whether Norwegian girls would like to date Asian guys. All of us were burst into laugh. Then Oistein explained how height differences was one of the reason why Norwegian girls would prefer someone from their own countries or at least region. Things like this would definitely be something we remember from that evening. Anine, Marnix, and I were also sharing about our languages differences, that Norway had 3 different characters that were not in Latin word list - something I just figured out that day.

From that moment, I earned many new insights about their cultures, something that I have never guessed or even noticed. There was this gap, between Western and Eastern countries that was very distinctive. They were very liberal, they emphasized individualism, whereas we from Eastern part of the world emphasized more on collectivism. Anine, she was so independent, compared to girls from my country for example. She left her house by 18 and lived on her own ever since. Marnix, he now was living in his apartment back in Amsterdam. They felt fine with that. It was something ordinary while it could be considered brave in Indonesia as very few of us did that. And there were lots of differences I could not tell one by one. One thing for sure was that I opened my eyes by talking to them. I gained something precious with this experiential learning, something that many of our students might not get back home.

Chatting personally really taught you something. The group experiential learning was indeed essential for our group performance in the future. We got the chance to know the person better, much much better through this outing. I started to know that Marnix was very nosy. He liked to tease me and make jokes to get us laugh. Jimmy, he liked to sing as he would sing anytime, anywhere, especially when he got nothing to do (he sang in the escalator and bus!). Hans, he got worried very easily. He would not feel relieved unless he was sure he got everything under control. Oistein, he simply called his friend after he took pictures with 3 snakes covering his neck. And Ann, she loved to take pictures with snakes, she even initiated the first move! Marnix and Oistein followed her afterwards. Anine, she would never stop smiling.

Although we did not experience cycling activities in Ubin Island as we eagerly planned before, that time I felt so happy. I really liked my group. I really like the accompanies. I could not wait for another outing session with them. I bet it is going to be more fun! Especially after doing our project together : the movie (too bad, it is coming soon!). At the end, we had to separate on the way home because the Norway had to buy some groceries before going home. Then, Marnix, Jimmy, Hans, and I went home by MRT, having another chit-chat time there until the time had to separate us physically (psychologically, we were binded already :p)

All in all, I gained the CQ knowledge that day by learning many new knowledges from various cultures. I developed my CQ action, specifically the verbal speech, as I talked with them. The CQ drive is the one that motivates us go along and spend time together. Last but not least, as I checked and reflected on what we did, I also improved my CQ strategy.

PS : It was not raining in Ubin Island that day.

Gadis

learning from the root

It is amazing how we can learn from those who are less fortunate than us. At least, that is how I stare back at the lesson I got from my experiences with them, intellectually disabled, whom I have taken care for 5 weeks now.

...

A rather cloudy evening it was, on last Saturday, when we had our outing session with them. We went to Sentosa and played by the beach. Many games were held, generating laugh and happiness from all of them.

The point that astonished me was when they were given one piece of paper each, plus coloring pencils. Free to draw anything they liked.

Sharen, my trainee, drew the beach with its shallow water and coconut trees. She even drew me and other trainers as well. What an honor to be drawn by her..

Chen Sze, the other trainee, she drew tree with flowers, one person, one house, sun and the clouds.

Fu Yen, she made a beautiful view of the sky.

Up to one extent, their drawings were just drawings - everyone could make the exactly same things, even better. But that was not the point.

It began to extremely different drawings when they started to color it.

They painted the sun with pink color, the trees with blue, the sky with green, the woman with red, the stars with purple, and all.

People might think that was crazy, but developed no worries since they were intellectually disabled. But hey, there was a hidden gem out of it.

I started to think, how wonderful life would be, when we can do the same, just like them.

How wonderful life is, when we can free our thoughts, let it fly, be brave, and start to imagine something different, something extraordinary.

Thinking outside the box, where we can see how pink sun is, how blue the tree is, how green the sky is, or even how red we are, women.

They let their minds played when sometimes we did not. We were too scared of dreaming. Too scared of imagining things. Too hesitate to explore something new. We were set, in the perception of how ideal world is. A perception that sometimes misguide us in appreciating life.

Why can't the sky be green? Why can't the trees be yellow?

We can be purple too, if we want to.

See how we can obtain something good, when we try our best to look at a contrast perspective?

Maybe, this is the time for you, to pursue your personal legend, like what Paulo Coelho said in The Alchemist :)

February 28, 2011

happy birthday dear Chandra :)

God be with you always

love,

Gadis

hari pemalas sedunia

hari ini hujan deras mengguyur Jurong West siang menuju sore hari. saya jelas basah terjebak hujan karena kebiasaan melupakan payung. hujan selalu punya efek berbeda bagi setiap orang. tapi efek yang saya temukan hampir sama di setiap orang adalah "rasa malas" untuk melakukan apapun. hujan banyak membuat orang membayangkan kasur dan selimut. dan melepas kepenatan seterusnya.

itulah tepatnya yang saya lakukan. saya tidak berniat belajar. mengerjakan tugas. atau apapun. saya memilih untuk menyeduh mie dalam cup. makan semua biskuit persediaan dalam lemari, dan menikmati film-film dari youtube.

film ini adalah salah satu film kesukaan saya sejak kecil. dan setiap kali saya menontonnya, saya pasti menangis. dan saya suka sekali dibuat menangis oleh film. bagi saya, film yang berhasil membuat saya menangis, itu adalah film yang bagus, apapun ceritanya hahahaha

ya, jadi saya menonton sekali lagi. dan menangis sekali lagi. ceritanya sangat menyentuh. film ini memberikan saya inspirasi dan semangat, untuk berani bermimpi. untuk berani berimajinasi. karena hidup ini memang adalah drama. hidup adalah panggung sandiwara.

masih betah berlama-lama di tempat tidur, saya tertarik untuk menonton cin(t)a. tapi kemudian keinginan itu tergantikan dengan film lain, mereka bilang saya monyet, yang diperankan oleh titi sjuman.

awalnya, saya merasa film ini sama saja seperti film sebelumnya. berbau dongeng. tidak riil. tidak mampu ditangkap logika karena seakan hiperbola. tapi jika kita mau memperhatikan lebih jauh, film ini benar-benar bertolak belakang. film ini benar-benar rendah hati.

rendah hati berarti mengungkapkan realitas nyata. dekat dengan kehidupan sehari-hari. dan itulah yang berusaha digambarkan oleh film ini. di mana banyak sekali korban penganiayaan dan kekerasan dalam rumah tangga, yang tak tertangkap oleh berita.

korban tersebut memilih untuk diam, atau terpaksa untuk diam, karena tak punya pilihan lain. korban tersebut tinggal dalam kekelaman, seakan tak mampu bangkit untuk membela diri. dan ini adalah realitas. dan korban tersebut adalah orang-orang terdekat kita, yang mungkin tidak kita ketahui keadaannya.

disinilah saya mengangkat topi untuk Djenar Maesa Ayu, karena dia selalu melahirkan ide-ide brilian pada topik-topik yang masih dianggap tabu oleh masyarakat. dia berani terlihat berbeda. dia bisa menciptakan kesadaran bagi kaum muda akan kehadiran korban kekerasan tersebut. karena dia lah, saya sadar, bahwa kasus semacam itu nyata. dan ada. dan dekat.

peka. itu penting.

my dad is a free thinker

That is the term I used, when I tried to explain my dad's religious view to my Singaporean friend.

Yes, it is the term that most of Singaporean familiar with. Actually, the term is not only popular in Singapore, but also other developed countries like United States and European countries, I reckon.

They use the term "free thinker" to explain someone who is regarded as an atheist in Indonesia.

Someone who does not hold any religion, simply because he or she does not believe in God.

This post is not to highlight my dad's religious point of view.

By contrast, this post wants to highlight one point.

A point which explains how a country, through its society, should be more careful in using any term, that might create negative stereotype towards anyone.

Yeah, that is a point I want to achieve.

Question would be, why a term "free thinker" is better then a term "atheist" ?

It conveys the same message. Why is using term should be something important?

Believe me, in this modern world, we try to do our best not to offend people.

Using a right term might be one way to achieve it.

Again, in this modern era, people are more sophisticated.

They are clustered into many divisions, of economy, education, social status, religion, and many else. They have developed different way of thinking methods and all.

If we want to stay a little longer in this kind of world, we need to respect others.

There is no other way to maintain a relationship, than by starting with respect.

Using a right term, or better term, will show respect to one's belief.

Although Indonesia is a "negara beragama", it does not necessarily mean that we all should have one religion. If we should, then it means we are forcing someone to stay in a bogus faith, which is pointless.

It will be better, in my humble opinion, to respect one's decision not to have faith.

And do not look at them as they are criminals.

I said that because I know several people who think that way.

Now, do you get the point why using the term "free thinker" is better?

It is because you see someone as free, he or she is not binded with rules and regulations, in which they chose to do so.

The term atheist somehow pinpoint the idea of emphasizing that theist is the one and only way to live, which is not.

What do you think?