heart to heart disclosure

These days might be the hardest days of my 19 years.

I finally felt a broken hearted. A true one.

As I might have told you in the previous post, someone I truly love, left me.

It has been a month and 5 days since he decided not to talk to me any longer.

To be honest, I never knew what was the reason he did that.

I still can't believe what have happened.

But I can't live on that condition forever.

It is comfortable to stay in a miserable way.

To cry everyday and to regret what had happened.

To take a pity on yourself, again and again.

I did that. I cried. A lot.

I asked soooo many times, why he did all of those things, after what we had been through together.

I might do something bad to him, but all in all, I did something good to him too.

Many things, I can say.

I might disappoint him in some way, but I might try to make him happy as well.

So why did he do this?

He knew I can never live without him, that he also needs me, but WHY?

I can never stop asking why.

I lived my days with misery. Looking back for the things I have done in the past.

But never found an answer.

Whatever I did in the past, I deserved to have answer.

I deserved to be left politely.

But what did I get?

He left me without any explanation. What can go worse than that?

For me, nothing.

That was the worse.

But then the best is yet to come.

Friends were coming to comfort me. One man showed up, and told me all of these beatiful thoughts.

Yeah, the one who helped me find my bb back.

The one whom I barely know and speak to.

He told me that I have all of the capability to be successful someday, to have everything I could possibly dream of, so that I dont need to cry and keep asking why.

Instead, I need to move on to a brighter day.

Thinking of goal of life, and leave everything that might hinder me from achieving the goal.

I really have no idea why, but those words gave me a new spirit to move on.

I might lost something, but I will gain something.

God may give me something, and he may take something else.

Anything I posses is not mine. Is not immortal.

It may be gone.

And maybe, he's not mine.

He doesn't belong to me.

That's why he's gone.

If he's really mine, he will come back.

So yes,

I did try to move on.

I am still thinking about him everyday, cause I think forgetting will not be possible.

But I remember those sweet moments, I kill the bad ones.

I just want to keep him in my sweet memories. I dont want to hate him.

strange,

but I managed to move on. I can live my day without regret and even be more thankful than before.

I still pray for him every night, hoping that he will always be happy, healthy, and wise.

No hatred at all.

in fact, I miss him a lot.

But I dont want to put it as an obstacle.

I want to be strong.

and I will be.

And you will be too.

Dont worry.

Miraculous Day

You may not believe what I am about to tell you.

It will sound so silly, yet true.

On Saturday, November 13, 2010,

I woke up so late : 6.30 am where I should have gone to Campus by 6.00 am.

Yes, that day was the day for Just For Fun Debate 2010.

I am the project officer so I can't be late.

I arrived at Campus on 8 o'clock then we ran JFF so normally.

It was a very tiring day, since I became the runner for the event with Nicko.

He was so helpful that day while everybody was not really that helpful.

It was very tiring till someone gave me an ice cream, as he promised me before.

Then I enjoyed ice cream after lunch, with Arif on my left side, Boby in front of me, and then Lesly came. We chatted for a while after I decided to wipe my hand with wet tissue.

So I went inside PAU ex (the debaters hall as well as the committee hall) to grab some. I left my handphone purposely and told Lesly to take care about it.

Again, everything was normal until I texted Lesly to ask about my cellphone.

He said he didnt have it. Boby might have it.

But Boby, at that moment, was sitting next to me. He knew nothing about my phone.

What happened basically was that Lesly thought Boby would take care of the phone; whereas Boby thought Lesly handled it.

I then tried to call my phone and it could be reached that time, but I didnt hear any sound of it.

I went outside to see if my cellphone was still on the table, nothing.

I panicked, I didnt know what to do.

Boby told me to tell the security.

I chose to ask the janitors.

Dang, they told me someone took it.

It was the siomay vendor.

Someone saw it, but did nothing upon it.

He was scared to yell as it will create ructions.

There it was.

That moment was the beginning of my adventure that day.

....to be continued....

I dont have the guts to tell the story.

It was a long long night. The biggest night ever in my life.

Cause in that night, my new life began.

I lost my phone. But I finally got it back. Through endeavour.

My new friend, Marison, I just knew him that day. He was the one who ate siomay.

The other one named Sadek, Marison's friend who also happened to eat siomay.

The other one, unknown, Marison's friend too, who happened to see the "incident".

All three of them helped me to find the phone. We started from 2 pm in the afternoon, looking for EVERY siomay vendor who went to UI that day. Could you ever imagine how many of them?

I said, I met plenty of them, and my friend Marison was trying to remember his face.

We used my car, we used our feet, moving from one place to another. You would never believe how far we embraced Depok that day. Maybe time could tell.

We found the one, but he didnt admit it. It was 11 pm at night. For 2 hours later, we tried to find a solution. I dont know what exactly happened, but Marison got my BB back. He didnt even bother to tell me how. The point was, I got it back. That was 2 am in the morning. The vendor did sell the BB to someone.

So you could possibly count, its 12 hours I spent. That was the longest saturday night in my life. I could say miraculous, cause, you know, there're too many points to tell. Too many things that I couldnt even describe. And I never expected my BB back. Cause that was just crazy! and unbelievable!

But on the same night, I lost my love.

I didnt know, and until now I havent known, what was the reason he acted like that.

He scolded me for I was being careless - in the moment when I asked him to accompany me to find my phone.

And the most unbelieavable part was,

he never talked to me ever since. until today. its been more than a month.

He was gone. And would never come back.

And I never know the reason behind that.

Poor me : yes,

I have struggled and done my best to get over it.

And that was just another story to tell.

end of the road

Although we've come to the End Of The Road
Still I can't let you go
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Come to the End of the Road
Still I can't let you go
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you

Finally, the day has come.

Like it or not, the day like this will come someday.

And maybe this is time.

I can never deny that he is the one I truly love and care.

The only thing that makes me cry is the fact that love and care is not enough.

It's not enough to make your relationship flows well.

It's not enough to make it sustainable.

The writing is just on the wall.

Nothing I can do about it.

The moment he became violent, that day,

I realized that it will go to an end.

And that day became real.

Yesterday was the end of the game.

Crying is then definite.

Simply not because this is the end,

but because love is forgotten.

People might be confused about what to do tomorrow, if they were me.

I might not.

I know what to do tomorrow and the next day, and the very next day.

I know I will get it over with,

but I can't throw what is on my mind.

Last night, my brain did not cooperate well,

I asked it not to remember anything about him,

what it did was remembering EVERYTHING,

till I can't sleep for almost 1,5 hours.

I have lost my best friend,

now I have lost my love too.

What a lonely world it would be.

But I know life must go on,

and it will do.

It will always do.

Goodbye my love,

I am sure you're gonna have better life and better partner.

Thanks for everything,

and sorry for everything too.

get well soon :)

Today, me and Edo, we got to Brawijaya Women and Children Hospital,

visiting his nephew Evan.

He has been sick for several days prior to the-so-called-DBD (demam berdarah dengue).

We brought some bread talk for him and a piece of colouring book plus the colouring pencils.

He was sooooo nice and warm and handsome and cuteeeee :D

and so was his brother Benito.

Both of them were just great and passionate and charming and SMART little kiddos.

Seriously, they were able to speak English fluently, though Evan was only 5 years old.

He even knew what Collosseum, Pisa Tower, Eiffel Tower, Empire Tower, and their friends are.

WOW! What a smart kid!

LOVE THEM :D

get well soon, honey!

see you soon too :) thank you for the opportunity to get to know you today..

evan and benito

evan

benito

ps : they even have facebook account! what a world! haha

new inspiration

Today's inspiration comes from

...

Amanda Dwyniaputeri!

Yey, finally I met Manda, definitely without appointment. Cause appointment will never works between girls. Especially the busy one :p hehehehe

So she mentioned a lot about what's outside Indonesia, spesifically in Madrid and Portugal. Made me jealous, is an absolute thing. But what's more with her story is when she mentioned about how we should go abroad, see everything even closer, look from different perspective - if all we have been doing is stuck in Indonesia.

She asked me to collect money as much as I can, and so as possible as I can, go around the world, have a very distinct view about what world is all about.

Cause its really different from all of these times.

It goes without saying, that I am interested in this one.

Yes, travelling. Backpacking.

An interesting activity, has been my dream since I was a lil kid.

I am so full with dreams now. Dreams to go travelling with best buddies.

New people, foreigner.

New places, new scent.

New food, new taste.

All of them.

New.

Envy to those who have the opportunity going abroad for uni.

I dont, but I will.

I should, really.

Manda, you should pay for this.

I cant stop thinking even a minute.

Love you bitch :D

Gotta talk to you soon!

Shakespeare

Watching abundant of criminal minds dvds (holiday habit), I become addicted to quotes, especially from William Shakespeare that says,

LOVE ALL,

TRUST A FEW,

DO WRONG TO NONE

Seeing those words, I am excited to find more about Shakespeare. He blatantly was a prominent English writer at his time. You must remember some of his works, i.e. Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, and so on. Moreover, he was also famous for his quotes.

Take a look at these. These are some of my favourites!

But men are men; the best sometimes forget.

Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Expectation is the root of all heartache.

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.

Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?

To do a great right do a little wrong.

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.

What is past is prologue.

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

Love is too young to know what conscience is.

It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.

Which one is your favourite, then?

derived from Criminal Minds

G. K. Chesterton wrote,

Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist.

Children already know that dragons exist.

Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.

AUCKLAND's BLASTS

Check this out >> a great city of Auckland :)

best gift ever

Di tengah2 kesibukan gw yang super padat dan menyita waktu ini, gw merasakan cobaan yang luar biasa. Ga ada satu hari pun yang gw lewatin tanpa marah2, nangis, kecewa, dan segala kepenatan lainnya.

Pusing dan bingung, adalah kata2 andalan gw untuk seminggu belakangan ini.

Gw ga nyangka kalo semuanya akan jadi serumit ini, untuk mengurus kepergian ke Selandia Baru. Dengan 6 orang lain yang akan berangkat, ternyata malah menyulitkan gw di banyak hal.

Walaupun begitu, seperti biasa, gw selalu nerima aja.
Pada dasarnya gw suka menolong orang lain.

Dan gw tulus dan dengan senang hati menolong semaksimal yang gw bisa.

Hanya saja, yang terjadi belakangan ini kok sepertinya semakin menjadi-jadi,

membuat gw bertanya-tanya, apakah gw harus berangkat ato ga kalo situasinya kaya gini terus.

Ga akan ada kata-kata yang sanggup menggambarkan betapa repotnya gw dalam seminggu ini.

Huh. Seluruh tenaga terkuras.

Pikiran ga tenang, perasaan juga berantakan. Naik turun sepanjang waktu.

Giliran satu masalah terselesaikan, masalah yang lain dateng lagi.

Ga berenti2, kaya siklus.

Bener kata Boby,

bulan ini mungkin adalah bulan terpanjang yang gw rasakan.

Secara setiap hari nya gw amat2 merasakan perjuangan untuk melewatinya.

kalau biasanya gw bisa nyantai2 dalam satu hari.

Ini ga sama sekali. Setiap detik jadi berharga.

Bahkan untuk istirahat cukup aja gw ga mampu.

Tidur malem banget untuk ngurusin ini itu, dan

bangun pagi banget untuk siap2 berangkat ke kampus - lagi2 untuk mengurus ini dan itu.

Jujur,

kalau ada pilihan untuk menyerah, gw pengen ngambil pilihan itu.

Tapi secara gw orangnya agak2 idealis,

gw selalu berusaha untuk ga menyerah di tengah jalan.

That's something that I should keep to hold on.

Hidup gw cukup berantakan banget sekarang.

Ga cukup sih, berantakan akan lebih tepat.

Bahkan berantakan aja ga mampu menggambarkan itu semua.

Kayanya begitu banyak konflik dalam usaha keberangkatan gw ini.

Tapi gw berusaha yang terbaik untuk menyelesaikannya, dan bukan menghindar darinya.

Seperti janji gw sebelumnya, bahwa postingan2 berikutnya haruslah postingan yang positif,

then this is the time.

Bahwa gw harus bisa melihat sisi positifnya.

Dari semua sisi positif yang bisa gw ambil,

this is the best one.

I just realized how much Edo meant for me.

I cannot do anything without him, rite now.

Jadi selama seminggu penuh ini, dia nganterin gw ke segala tempat di penjuru Jakarta ini.

Dengan penuh kesabaran, dan kantong jebol tentunya karena setiap hari kita harus siapin Rp 50rb untuk bensin, belum ditambah dengan makan siang dan makan malam (yes, gw pergi dari pagi sampe malem).

Dia ada di saat gw nangis, dia ada di saat gw ketawa.

Dia ada buat menghibur gw, dia ada untuk membuat gw lega.

Emang ada saatnya dia ga terlalu ngerti permasalahan gw dan ga bisa bantu.

Tapi, sadar atau ga, kehadiran dia itulah yang sebenarnya mengaburkan kekecewaan2 gw terhadap hidup yang lagi gw jalani sekarang.

Kalo ga ada dia, mungkin gw ga akan bertahan.

Karena gw sadar bahwa dia ada buat gw, selalu mendengarkan gw, selalu mengayomi gw, selalu berusaha yang terbaik buat gw, selalu mengorbankan segalanya buat gw,

gw jadi kuat.

Gw jadi mampu berdiri lagi ketika gw jatuh.

Gw jadi kembali ceria lagi ketika gw down berat.

Dia lah yang bisa bikin gw berangkat ke sana, kalau sampe jadi.

Karena semua yang udah dia kasih itu lah, yang bikin semuanya jadi mungkin.

Mulai dari ngasih uang, ngasih tenaga, ngasih waktu, ngasih hiburan, ngasih keceriaan, ngasih semuanya.

Mulai dari temenin ke rektorat, travel agent, money changer, sampe temenin beliin sepatu di ambasador.

Mulai dari minjemin gloves, sampe socks, sampe koper, sampe ipod, sampe kamera. Semuanya.

Semuanya itu dia lakuin dengan TULUS, tanpa sedikit pun pernah complaint.
Sebuah pengorbanan dan kesabaran yang luar biasa,

yang ga pernah bisa tergantikan oleh apapun.

With this post,

I want to thank you, Babe.

For being such a wonderful guy I have ever met.

Nothing can describe how greatful I am, to have you in my life.

Mungkin buat sebagian orang ini sangat gombal.

Tapi kalo mereka itu melihat betapa Edo mampu memberikan semuanya dengan hati tulus, mereka akan liat betapa mulianya seorang Edward Bonar Pangihutan Sihombing.

Yes babe, I love you.

Thank you so much :)

never

I never asked for such thing.

Never asked for clothes.

Never asked for shoes.

Never asked for underwear.

Never asked for many things I needed.

Never since I was just a little kid.

Never.

Never even try.

Or never even hope to ask.

I tried to cover all from my own savings.

Now, I beg you for one special wish.

Again, you ask me to cover it myself.

Everyday, I struggle to collect as much as I can.

Still, its not enough.

Still have to do many many things to get through this.

I just pray it will happen.

I know this post should be positive rather than the way it is.

But I dont have any channel left to express my feelings now.

Be honest is the simplest way I could do.

postingan baru yang harus positif :D

holaaaaaaaaaa

hari ini adalah hari pertama gw harus memulai menulis blog dengan postingan2 yang positif :D karena gw telah berjanji di postingan sebelumnya, bahwa hidup gw harus berubah. at least yang pertama gw ubah adalah cara gw menulis blog hehe

jadi cerita untuk 3 hari ini akan sangat panjang, sebab ada banyak sekali perjalanan indah selama 3 hari ini. sehingga, yang akan gw ceritakan hanya seperintil dulu *haahahaha apa itu seperintil.

intinya, hari ini gw mendapat wejangan dari seseorang, bahwa gw ga perlu lagi lah minder dengan orang lain. gw punya kok kemampuan yang cukup untuk menjadikan gw sukses di kemudian hari. kemampuan itu tinggal diasah, dan dipikirkan matang2.

gw tinggal harus bersabar, memilah2, dan memilih yang mana yang akan gw tekuni nanti setelah gw lulus kuliah.

why that statement came up?

karena udah beberapa hari ini gw meneror dia dengan bilang bahwa "gw ga tau mau jadi apa setelah lulus kuliah, terutama dengan bidang yang gw tekuni saat ini (komunikasi)"

so, itulah jawaban dia yang super diplomatis.

:) love it

GREAT DISCOVERY ;) OF ME

you know what. i just did blogwalking around my friends' blogs.

and what i found is one thing.

they always update their blog to inform and show the "good news" from their life.

and it triggers me to think even much deeper about it.

okay, i know now you might be confused about what i am writing in, but one thing that i want to explain to you is that :

blog shows how exactly you see your life.

when you see life as something that is extraordinary and fun - thus you can't waste your time while you're living - you will write everything that you think is extraordinary and fun too IN YOUR BLOG.

on the other hand

when you see life as something that is pathetic and full of sadness - thus you can't stop whining and complaining - you will write everything that you think is pathetic and full of sadness too IN YOUR BLOG

AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IM DOING FOR ALMOST MY ENTIRE LIFE!

I ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE NEGATIVE SIDES, THE NEGATIVE PARTS OF MY LIFE.

I CAN'T STOP WHINING AND COMPLAINING AND REGRETTING WHAT I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH.

and what does that mean?

THAT MEANS :

1. I AM A NEGATIVE THINKER

2. ITS HARD FOR ME TO BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE

3. THAT MAKES MY LIFE GOES AROUND IN MISERY FOR ALL OF THESE TIMES

4. THAT'S WHY MY BLOG POSTS WERE FULL OF SADNESS TOO

4. IF I DONT WANT TO CHANGE, I WONT CHANGE FOREVER

okay then, for now on, i think i NEED to change, or i'll be like this forever.

you know, change always starts from a very little thing to bigger things.

that's exactly what i am going to do.

from my blog.

i want to see a better life

therefore i need to be a positive thinker rather than keep cursing everything in my life.

then i hope my life would be better.

yeah, i really need to change.

GOSH, thank you for alda and lidya for inspiring me through your blog.

i can see it clearer now.

i love you guys.

and i miss you all like crazy!

bingung harus ngasih judul apa

hari ini gw baru sadar, kalo gw datengin blog seringnya kalo gw lagi sedih..

hahaha blog adalah tempat curhat gw, when i feel i have no one to tell..

well, actually gw lagi dalam masa2 kejenuhan hidup gw sih..

lagi bosen aja sama keadaan yang ada.

pengen berontak.

dan pengen memulai hidup baru yang totally different.

tapi tentunya yang gw suka.

aaaah pengen cepet2 liburan dan melewati masa2 ini.

gila ya, tapi liburan bakal masih lama banget. gw harus melewati juni dan juli, bulan penuh tantangan. hahahahahaa

agustus gw baru akan bener2 libur..

itupun kalo beneran libur.

well, i wish ga akan ada acara2 lain sih..

(yang feeling gw pasti ada..)

ah, jadi gatau mau nulis apa..

hahaha

images of you

sometimes, you are a blanket to me

covering me through cold nights

preventing me from any shiver

with your everlasting warmth

another times, you become an umbrella,

which always gives me shades

whenever heart of sun stings me

whenever drops of rain pound me

you form many of my dreams,

leading me to another bright life.

from the time i rest my soul

you fill my underworld with joy

not only have you dived in my life,

these many images of you

have been parts of my heart

and i hope, they'll always be

diberikan oleh seseorang di tanggal 28 juli 2007,

what a long time ago.

unfinished work

i believe i can fly

i believe i can touch the sky

i think about it every night and day

i'll spread my wings and i fly away

i believe i can soar

i see me running through that open doors

i believe i can fly

...

aku tak tahu ke mana akan ku bawa kehidupanku ini

rasa-rasanya semua keutuhan tak kudapatkan lagi

masing-masing terbang mencari sarang,

mengecup kehidupan yang lebih baik

ingin rasanya aku berteriak lantang,

menghujam gendang telinga orang-orang

lelah rasanya mengusap tangis,

memimpikan sebuah langit yang lebih cerah

dan sayap yang kuat untuk menjangkau angkasa

satu persatu, ranting itu patah. jatuh.

menyentuh tanah.

rontok.

semuanya.

terutama angan-anganku.

...

...

(unfinished work pas sma - gw temukan sewaktu membongkar barang-barang lama)

desperado

im so desperate, UAS is coming

too bad, i haven't prepared anything!

OMG,

please give me some miracle!

lampung with ignes and naufal

lampung trip : march 30 - april 3, 2010

latest news from debating

yeah, apparently, i focused on debating recently. for the sake of self improvement.
last night was tough.
i was feeling so miserable.
i know that when it comes to my own substantive, the burden is on me.
i can't lean on others. especially my teammates. people wont give a shit about the casebuilding.
what they see, is what they believe.
therefore i felt so down inside.
i almost lose my confidence.
but then i realized. this is gonna be a long long process.
it's not gonna take 1 or 2 competition to be improved.
it may take 10 or more.
it may take months or even years.
there's no such thing as instant result.
that's the so called process. trial and error.
good thing is, i can learn still.

i know this might take longer time than usual.
but the most important is, i need to believe on myself.
i can improve myself.
and i will.

the unfortunate today

yeah, hari ini mungkin jadi hari paling malesin sedunia.

tadi malem gw kurang tidur karena baru sampe rumah jam stengah 11, mandi beres2 dll, akhirnya baru tidur jam 11 lewat. padahal seharian itu gw beraktivitas sangat padat.

tadi pagi jam 7 kurang 15 udah harus berangkat. which means, jam 6 kurang gw udah harus bangun. sampe kampus super ngantuk, ga niat kuliah (sebenernya tiap hari kaya gini sih).

mata kuliah pertama selesai. gw ada janji mau ngerjain tugas kelompok di perpus.

gw dan temen gw udah ada di perpus, dan saat itu juga gw tahu kalo laptop gw lagi ngambek dan ga bisa nyala sama sekali. udah gw macem2in tetep aja ga bisa nyala.

oh shit. padahal ada sejuta kerjaan yang hari ini harus gw kerjain di kampus - which is harus pake laptop itu. shityness.

udah gitu, pas gw tanya temen gw dia udah baca bahan yang harus dijadiin makalah ato belom, dia bilang belom selesai! padahal dia udah dapet bahan itu dari hari kamis lalu sementara gw baru dapet bahan itu hari senin kemarin, dan di tengah kepadatan jadwal gw kemaren, gw sempet2in baca sampe selesai.

what the heck!

selain kekesalan itu, gw juga sempet minta dia buat bikin kerangka makalah yang bakal dikumpulin buat senin. dan ternyata dia belum mengerjakan itu sama sekali! dengan alasan dia punya makalah orang yang bisa di copy paste bentuknya.

itu berarti, makalah gw yang harus jadi dalam 2 hari ini, masih 0% pengerjaannya.

dan itu membuat gw semakin kesal dengan orang tersebut.

gw ngerasa dia terlalu dan terlalu nyantai. dan depended abis.

ya masa nunggu gw pulang dari lampung untuk nyelesain semuanya.

kenapa sih ga ada inisiatif buat ngerjain dulu jadi ga perlu repot2 kalo udah deket hari H?

bi**h!

waktu terus berjalan, laptop gw juga ga bisa nyala2. temen kelompok gw yang satu lagi lebih sucks. dia ga bisa dateng, karena dia mau ngerjain tugas sama temen2nya yang lain. padahal bahan utamanya ada di dia. dan gw sangat butuh dia untuk menjelaskan persoalannya, sehingga gw bisa bikin ppt dan makalahnya.

heeeeeeeell!

gw udah janji sama diri gw sendiri untuk jadi orang yang lebih sabar. that's why gw gamau marah2 dan ngambek kaya anak kecil. akhirnya gw pamit sama temen gw, untuk bisa ngerjain semua tugasnya di rumah. karena selain makalah itu, there's plenty of works should be done tonite. yang semuanya harus dikerjakan pake komputer.

gw akhirnya buru2 pulang, dan sepanjang perjalanan telvonan sama 'dia'.

guess what. kesialan gw berhenti sampe di situ.

kira2 setengah dari perjalanan pulang gw, gw sadar kalo gw lupa sesuatu. gw diminta kakak gw untuk mengumpulkan tugasnya ke dosennya. dan gw ga mungkin ga ngumpulin lagi, since hari senin kemarin gw udah ga ngumpulin tugas itu.

setelah mikir2, akhirnya gw harus balik ke ui.

sayangnya, puteran buat mobil gw sempit.

gw berusaha setengah mati buat muter balik.

ban gw sampe nge sprint dan berdecit (gw ga lebay, bahkan semua orang ngeliatin mobil gw dengan pandangan wow).

selain itu, mobil gw juga sempet mati sekali saking ga kuat.

intinya sih mobil gw kejeblos di batu2 gitu waktu puter balik.

and it makes everything worse.

gw memutuskan untuk tutup telv dengan si dia. dan mendengarkan musik supaya lebih tenang. sesuai janji hari ini, gw harus bisa sabar. gw pun ga teriak2, dan gw milih untuk diem dan merenung.

sampe ui, gw ga nemu tempat parkir. dan gw harus parkir jauh banget untuk bisa pergi ke tukang fotokopi dan nganterin tugasnya.

fotokopinya memakan waktu 10 menit saking tukangnya super ga profesional.

setelah nganterin tugasnya dan berpanas2an ria. gw masuk lagi ke mobil dan menelepon 'dia' lagi. tapi di tengah perjalanan dia jadi rese di saat gw lagi berusaha untuk netral dan baik2 ke dia.

huh.

gw juga inget kalo gw punya janji buat kerja kelompok sama orang lain.

heck.

dan saat gw pulang ke rumah. gw lupa untuk ngabarin dia. thankfully, dia ga marah. gatau deh besok.

gw milih untuk tidur dan nenangin diri.

thankfully, gw bangun dan lumayan tenang sih..

yeah, tetep aja. hari ini super unfortunate.

what a day.